Do you ever worry that you’re too much for a man?
Dating can be hard for strong women such as yourself. You’re fierce, beautiful and intelligent and you should have guys falling at your feet. Instead, you’re getting ghosted. Guys want to sleep with you, but they’re never willing to commit.
You wonder whether you’re the problem. You think perhaps you’re simply too much for a modern-day man. You try to fix things by dumbing yourself down, or you settle for a man who isn’t right for you. It breaks my heart to see just how many strong women think that they’re “too much” for a man and settle for a mediocre relationship.
I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to do any of that anymore. There is a man out there who will leave you breathless – and I’m here to help you find him. Why? Because I believe that happy women are empowered women who can change the world.
I help women adopt simple shifts in their behavior to help them attract the strong, masculine partners they deserve.
In this blog post, I’m going to give you my seven top tips on how to date as a strong woman without dumbing yourself down or settling.
1) Get your dating profile right
Often, strong women come across as abrasive in their dating profiles. It’s only natural for you to want to convey your strength and independence, but writing something like “Can you handle me?” gives off the wrong vibe. It creates a competitive energy; with a bio like this, you’re more likely to attract a rival than a partner.
Instead, try something like this: “I’m a very feminine and strong woman raised in a little village in Italy.” (Yep – that’s me by the way!)
This is effective because you’re clearly stating that you’re a strong woman and you’ll attract men who are looking for an amazing, capable partner. At the same time, you’re showing off your feminine side, which is the most important part of creating a beautiful, romantic relationship. An extra detail about yourself shows that your strength is just one of the many parts of your life he could be lucky enough to discover.
2) A 15 minute makeover
When an all-important date is looming, it’s only natural to feel nervous. You’ve done everything you can: you’ve got a cute outfit on, your makeup looks flawless and your hair is teased to perfection but you just can’t stay calm. You feel more and more self-conscious with every passing minute.
You need to relax. Lean back into your feminine energy and let the magic of polarity do its thing. You need to realize that you’re worthy of love and that your whole life doesn’t hinge on the success of a single date. Most importantly, though, you need to get out of your head and connect with your body.
“That’s all well and good,” I hear you say, “but how exactly do I do that?”
It’s simple. Put on your favorite song, dance like no-one’s watching and sing like no-one’s listening. Choose something fun and upbeat with lyrics that make you feel empowered. Girl, you’ve got this.
3) Create a connection (in five seconds!)
The key to a successful first date is creating an instant connection, without revealing too much about yourself. Mystery is part of the fun of dating and will keep him on his toes.
You’re a smart woman and have no trouble coming up with interesting conversation topics, but there needs to be that extra spark from the get-go.
Real connection and attraction happen when you lean into your feminine energy. By doing this you appeal to his masculinity and create real chemistry. But how can you connect with your feminine side?
It’s simple: listen to your feelings and communicate them.
Emotions are wonderfully feminine. Masculine energy is about doing and proving whilst femininity is about being and feeling. By showing him that you’re connected to your emotions, you display your feminine energy and become very attractive to him.
Of course, don’t go to extremes. Bursting into tears during dinner won’t secure you a second date. Be subtle.
At the start of the evening, you could confess that you feel a little nervous. It works beautifully, firstly because he probably feels the same way. Secondly, you’re appealing to his manly instinct to fix problems and help women. He’ll feel needed and want to help you relax, which will help the date progress smoothly.
4) Respect his masculinity
This is one of the most important things I had to learn in order to find the love of my life. It’s the key to a healthy relationship.
I’m talking about the highest need for a man: respect. A masculine man wants to be respected even more than he wants to be loved. If he doesn’t feel respected, he won’t commit to you. He won’t feel safe to be himself around you. Would you want to enter a long-term relationship in that situation?
In order to create a stable, happy relationship, you need to respect his masculinity – but how do you do that?
- Don’t criticize him.
- Don’t try to change him.
- Don’t try to control him.
He needs to know that you’re with him because of who he is, not because you want to turn him into something “better.” However, when you’re a strong woman who’s used to taking charge, it may sound difficult to stick to these points. I’ve been there, too! We follow a pattern:
- We start dating a guy who we think has potential to be great.
- We take the lead in the relationship.
- We try to change him and force him to become the man that we wanted all along.
This pattern doesn’t work. It leaves you both frustrated and unhappy. It’s time to break the cycle. You need to find a way to ensure that your needs are being met without criticizing and controlling him, which brings me to the next point…
5) Learn to lean back
As strong women, we make sure our needs are met by controlling our partners but eventually, this behavior proves destructive to the relationship. It’s important that you learn how to ensure your needs are met without controlling him.
Wait a minute… relinquishing control sounds kind of scary, right?
Controlling him and controlling the relationship are two different things. You can stop making demands and stay in the driver’s seat. It took me years to learn this, but it’s easier and healthier for everyone in the long run.
Deborah Rever said that “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”
You need to switch gears. Shift the focus from him onto YOU. You can only control one person in this relationship, and that’s yourself.
Focus on yourself. Get in touch with your feelings. Connect to your needs. Be curious and take time to discover which man truly wants to make you happy.
Yes, that’s right: which man. It’s perfectly natural to enjoy the company of more than one man.
Don’t make the mistake of focusing on one man until he’s well and truly proved his worth to you. Don’t set a target on one guy’s head, and definitely don’t chase after him. If you do, you run the risk of scaring him off and overlooking other, worthier men.
No one man is your only shot at love, so relax and stay open to the attention of many men. Relax, focus on yourself and allow men to come to you. They’ll be entranced by your serene, feminine energy. Keep your options open and be receptive to their efforts.
Here are a few easy ways you can stay calm whilst dating a man:
- You don’t feel the need to fill a pause in conversation with meaningless chatter.
- Smile, relax and enjoy the atmosphere
- You are warm, soft and open but don’t initiate contact after a date. Wait for him to call.
- Only accept invitations more than two days in advance. You’re not an afterthought. If he asks you out at the last minute, go out with another man or have a night out with friends instead.
6) Accept his help
A masculine man falls in love with a feminine woman while giving to her.
It sounds odd. We’re used to be strong and active – we’re usually the ones who give. But guess what? We’ve been getting it wrong the whole time. A masculine man needs a woman who is comfortable to sit back in her femininity and receive.
The reason strong women struggle to find strong men is that they are reluctant to accept help. You know it’s true. “Thanks, but I don’t need help” slips out of your mouth before you even have a chance to think about it! It’s only natural. You want to be considerate and you don’t want to inconvenience him. As women, we have a terrible habit of this because we don’t want others to go to any trouble for us. You’re a capable woman, so why should he have to fix your lightbulb? Besides, you want dating to be easy and fun – you’re not here to put him through his paces.
The thing is, by refusing his help you’re missing out on a huge opportunity to create a connection with him. When you let him provide for you, he feels closer to you, as though he’s a part of your life.
It’s time to change this behaviour for good! Let’s throw out “I don’t need help” and replace it with a new, positive affirmation: “A masculine man falls in love with a woman while giving to her.”
Write post-it notes and leave them around your house if you need to. Put it on your fridge, your wardrobe door and your bathroom mirror. Repeat it to yourself like a mantra every morning and night.
7) Learn to step into your calming femininity
We all feel the urge to relax and do nothing once in a while, but it’s easy to ignore it and force ourselves into being “productive” instead. In terms of a relationship, that’s actually counterproductive.
You must embrace your need to be still. Feminine energy is serene; it doesn’t require you to be constantly struggling and striving. In order to embrace your femininity, you have to relax and just be.
Feminine energy is deeply connected to Mother Nature and although she is undeniably powerful, she doesn’t need to prove herself. She simply is. She accepts, she nurtures and she soothes.
Masculine and feminine energy are in many ways opposites, but they are complementary to one another. Men are not as in tune with nature and don’t have the same natural capacity to be still and serene. They are always working and hustling, so being around a woman who exudes serene, feminine energy is enormously calming for a man. In fact, he probably needs it more than realizes. It allows him to rest and recharge his batteries.
The best way to help a man be his best self is not to run around after him or act like his mother. It’s simply to encourage him to relax and be himself so that he can recharge his batteries when he is with you.
So there we have it, 7 dating tips for strong women like yourself. If you’d like to learn more, make sure to sign up for my newsletter.