Every strong woman yearns for a strong man.
You want someone to hold you, care for you and sweep you off your feet… A man who treasures you and sees not just your outer, but also your inner beauty when he looks deep into your eyes.
Sadly, it often seems that the ideal partner is hard to find but I promise you he’s out there – you just have to know where (and how) to look. Unlike what Hollywood would have us believe, you don’t have to sit around and wait for your meet-cute moment.
In this blog post, I’m going to take you through my top tips so that you can kiss goodbye to singledom and find true love – in 9 months.
1) Mindset is everything
You won’t find an amazing husband unless you’re ready to welcome the right kind of love into your life.
We tend to attract the kinds of partners we think we deserve. If you don’t appreciate all of your own wonderful qualities, then it’s unlikely Mr. Right will be able to see them either. The result? An unfulfilling relationship with Mr. Average or Mr. Plain Wrong.
Take time to adjust your mindset and realize that you’re an amazing woman who’s worthy of love – because you are.
Similarly, you need to have faith that there are good, honest men out there. You have a much greater chance of finding Mr. Right if you actually believe he exists!
2) Know what you want – and visualize it daily
It’s so important to know what you’re looking for in a man. If you don’t have a clear idea of what you want, you’ll find yourself settling for anybody who looks warm enough to cuddle when winter rolls around.
Take 5-10 minutes every morning to meditate and visualize a wonderful, fulfilling relationship in which you are loved and valued by a man who knows just how lucky he is to have you.
Visualisation shows the doubtful parts of your brain that a beautiful relationship is realistic and achievable, so taking this time every day to meditate on what you want is an important part of the process.
3) Discover the magic of polarity
It’s often said that opposite attracts but I’m here to tell you that this is not quite true.
If you’re a bit of a couch potato, a sporty guy might seem intriguing at first (and come on, who doesn’t like a good set of abs?) but eventually, you’ll find yourself getting frustrated by his insistence on waking up at 5am to train when all you want is cuddles and breakfast in bed.
Having said that, attraction does lie in polarity, but in a totally different way. I’m talking about the polarity between masculine and feminine energies.
Men want to be the pursuers and providers in a relationship whereas feminine energy is all about relaxing and letting yourself be taken care of.
As an intelligent, independent woman it can often feel uncomfortable to relax into a feminine role, but if you constantly refuse your partner’s support then it’s likely to be a short-lived sexual relationship, rather than a long, emotionally fulfilling one.
You don’t have to compromise your strength to radiate feminine energy. Reserve that fierce independence for other areas of your life and allow yourself to be cherished. After all, you deserve it.
4) Delete Tinder
Tinder is a shortcut and – let’s be honest – more of a hookup app than a serious dating site.
Of course, it is possible to meet your prince on tinder… but it’s fairly unlikely. If you want to find your dream man in the next 9 months, it’s not the way forward.
Not all dating sites were created equally. Maximise the chances of being swept off your feet by signing up for one of the following:
- Elite Singles
Don’t forget to check out my ebook on how to craft the perfect online dating profile.
5) Shy isn’t the opposite of strong
Romantic comedies are wonderful but sadly, they’ve taught us that Mr. Right should be irresistibly charming and charismatic from the get-go.
In reality, that’s not the case. If a guy starts reciting poetry to you straight away then I’ve got news for you: he’s probably a womanizer. Don’t be turned off if he doesn’t immediately compare thee to a summer’s day. He’s probably feeling shy around a beautiful, feisty woman like yourself.
The point is: in real life, the true hero of the story is usually not great at sweet-talking women. What he is good at is being there for you, and that’s what counts. Actions speak louder than words.
6) Go on lots of dates
Fairy tales were right about one thing: you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
In movies, the heroine finds her perfect man by chance: maybe they both dive into the same cab or he helps her up after she’s knocked unconscious on the dancefloor.
As wonderful as that would be, you just can’t bank on it. The good news is that the more men you meet, the higher your chances that one of them will be the one for you – the statistics are on your side.
You should be going on at least one date per week and more if you have the time. Even if your first few (or few dozen) dates are duds, it’s great practice. You’ll become more relaxed and confident as time goes on so when do you find the right man, you’ll be ready for him.
7) Trust your gut
Gut instinct is incredibly powerful and ignoring it is a huge – and, unfortunately, very common – mistake. It’s all too easy to overlook a man’s flaws because you’re too busy imagining how it will sound when you take his last name, but it’s crucial that you pay attention.
I’ve coached many women and they’ve all said the same thing about their past relationships: they saw the red flags in the first two weeks of their relationship.
Trust yourself and value your own intuition. Gut instinct has evolved to help humans survive and it’s always right. Your gut might not always tell you what you want to hear, but it will always tell you what you need to hear and save you a lot of time and heartbreak in the long run.
8) Treat him based on his actions, not his potential
The worst thing you can do in a relationship is to treat your man not as he is, but as he could be.
Yes, it’s possible that he could be the right guy for you and he might be going places in his career, but it’s early days. You’re not married yet!
If you get too carried away thinking about what could be, you’ll lose sight of what’s really going on and start working far too hard to win him over.
Remember, men want to be the ones to woo you, not the other way around. If you take on the role of the pursuer, he’ll probably run a mile. You’re the princess in the castle, so let him climb up to you. Don’t start chasing him just because he might be perfect – he might not!
9) Have high standards
Set the bar high. The higher, the better!
Successful women are used to problem-solving and being accommodating in the workplace but this can lead to low standards in our love lives. In turn, low standards mean low respect.
He’ll mess you around if he knows he can get away with it, and if you’re always making excuses for him, you won’t end up with the romance you deserve.
Make it clear from the start that you need to be treated like the queen you are. Your man should be respectful, caring and attentive towards you so be firm with him.
If he’s always bailing on dates, make it clear that there won’t be another one until he gets his act together. If he only tries to make plans at the last minute, tell him you’re busy – next time, he’ll call ahead. When he’s quiet all day and then texts you late at night asking to come over, say no! He’ll wine and dine you in the future.
Respect yourself and he’ll respect you too. Don’t accept any bad behavior when there are so many wonderful, attentive men out there just waiting to treat you right.
So there we have it: my top tips for finding your husband in 9 months. If you’d like my support, check out my “Happily ever after” coaching package. Unlike other coaches, I offer a flatrate coaching model. It means that I will help you through all the ups and downs until you meet the love of your life, no matter how long it takes!