It’s an age-old question – how are you supposed to show a man that you’re interested in him without coming across as overeager? Actively pursuing a man demonstrates masculine energy which will no doubt scare him off, but it’s important to give him some gentle encouragement. Men have a deep-seated fear of rejection, so if you don’t show him any sign of interest, he won’t even try to pursue you. It seems like an impossible balance to strike, right? 

Not at all. You can show a guy that you like him without compromising your femininity, and in this blog post I’m going to teach you how. 

Don’t fixate on one man 

It’s important not to put all your eggs in one basket, as it were. If you pin all your hopes on one man, you’ll place too much importance on him and everything you do will be for his benefit. You’ll end up becoming the pursuer in your quest to get his attention – and that masculine energy will only drive him away. 

Remember that you can’t force anyone into anything. There’s more than one worthy man out there, so don’t become fixated on one particular guy straight away. Take a look around and you’ll notice that there are many men who may be interested in you – there’s no one guy who’s your only shot at love. Being in your femininity means being relaxed, interested and open to a variety of possibilities. If it doesn’t work out with one guy, there are many other men out there who can meet your needs. Once you understand this, you’ll become much more serene and attractive.

The power of eye contact

Let’s say you spot an attractive guy across the room in the gym or perhaps at a bar – do you approach him, and risk seeming too forward? Do you ignore him and hope that he’ll try to talk to you anyway (and then get disappointed when he doesn’t?) 

In this situation, you need to employ the subtle magic of eye contact. Don’t just glance at him for a millisecond. Instead, lock eyes and make purposeful, lingering eye contact. Once isn’t enough either – make sure you look his way at least twice. You should smile at him too, as this will make him feel instantly at ease, giving him the encouragement he needs to come over and introduce himself. 

In movies, men approach unknown women all the time but in reality, men are too afraid of rejection. A simple smile and some eye contact let him know that you’re interested, whilst staying relaxed and feminine. He’ll strike up a conversation in no time. 

Give him a compliment

We often assume that men should be the ones to give all the compliments, but this isn’t true at all. Don’t go overboard, but giving him a small compliment can work wonders. It can even be something as simple as “hey, nice glasses” or “I like your shoes.” A kind word will subtly indicate that you’ve noticed him and give him a huge confidence boost. He’ll be spurred on to talk to you. Besides, it’s always good to put positive energy out there. 

Be interested

Once the two of you are engaged in conversation, how can you let him know you’re interested without explicitly saying it? The answer is simple: show him you’re interested by being interested. Be an active participant in the conversation and listen to what he has to say. Ask insightful questions and make it clear that you’d like to get to know him. Every man wants to be seen and loved for who he really is, so when you show your interest in the conversation, he’ll begin to feel a real connection to you. 

When he tells you something about himself you really like, give him positive feedback – for example, if he tells you he’s family-oriented, you could say “I feel like that’s a great quality in a man.” If he makes excellent jokes, tell him “you’re really funny. I like that.” Men want to earn your admiration and trust, so a simple comment like this will go a long way in encouraging him to pursue a relationship with you. 

Laugh at his jokes 

This one is important. Every man wants to be seen as funny, so laughing at his jokes will reassure him that you’re interested. He’s going to be nervous initially, so his humor may not be at its finest on your first date, but if you laugh anyway he’ll relax into himself. This works one-on-one or in a group situation. For example, at a party, he’ll definitely remember the nice girl who laughed at all of his jokes and seek her out later on. 

Tell him you feel safe

This is one for the second or third date. As he walks you home at the end of the night, utter those five magic words: “I feel safe around you.” Nothing melts a man’s heart quite like this simple sentence. Men have an innate need to protect women and hearing this makes them feel strong, manly and convinced that you are his perfect match. Trust me, telling him he makes you feel safe is bound to score you a place in his heart. 

Show him you’re pleased to hear from him

You should not be the one who calls or texts all the time. That’s not to say you should never contact him, but try to achieve a healthy ratio. A good rule of thumb is to call him once for every three times that he calls you. Instead of always being the first one to reach out, wait for him to make the move but be receptive to his efforts. Be warm and friendly – make sure he knows that you’re pleased to hear from him. He’s much more likely to call again if he knows he’ll receive a cheerful response. That way, you can show him you’re interested without slipping into a masculine role. 

Let him be nice

As women, it’s all too easy to rebuff compliments in the name of modesty, but it’s actually much better to be open and receptive to his kind words. Instead of disagreeing and putting yourself down when he says something nice, smile, thank him and graciously take the compliment. If you’re reluctant to accept his compliments, he’ll worry that you’re not interested. If you show your appreciation, there will be many more to follow. Think about it – would you want to compliment somebody if you knew they’d shoot you down every time? 

As the relationship grows, it’s only natural that he will want to help you. It’s what good, caring men do. It can be hard as a strong, independent woman but you should accept his help. For example, if he wants to help you get a better internet connection, be receptive and enthusiastic, rather than insisting on doing it yourself. At the end of the day, the two of you should be a team, and you need to show him that you really value his help. 

Show him that he can make you happy 

If he makes you happy, then let him know. When a good, honest man is looking for the woman of his dreams, he wants somebody that he can make happy. He won’t want to commit to you long term if he doesn’t believe he can give you what you need – and he’ll be too afraid to ask, anyway. 

Be open about it – tell him how happy you are! It’s as simple as saying “I feel so happy when I’m around you” or “you make me so happy.” He will feel so proud and more certain than ever that you are the one for him. This is so important for your relationship to move forward. 

These are my top tips for showing a man you’re interested in him without slipping into the masculine role of the pursuer. For more advice on how to use your femininity to attract the man of your dreams, make sure to subscribe to my newsletter!